Listen to footsteps

Oh sweet child!

The comfort in your eyes makes the moon want to shine brighter so it can reach you.

Sleep gentle into this night as the mighty stars are all out there to protect you.

Dream well, it's these dreams that you will want to chase as the nights grow older.

Little child, brightness is all around you even in the dark. Embrace it while it's young.

The older the bones grow, the more you will have to protect yourself each day.

Roll around your furry blanket and your new soft friends, this won't last forever.

Your tiny hands and legs are waiting to reach out to all those who come everyday only to protect you.

Look, a rainbow in the dark. See how much colour there is around you.

From distances afar, travellers come to shelter you with the love and warmth the sun can't provide.

Oh an airplane! People are flying over your head just to get a glimpse of you. Enjoy the attention while you can, they stop giving it to you as to grow older.

The earth is going round and round so you can dance with your friends like no one could ever imagine.

Play along with slumber because he's your new friend and he will introduce you to his world.

His world is temporary until forever.

My love, sleep gentle and tight.

Sleep until it's time for the moon to kiss you good bye

Impact

Oh he's gotten inside my chest and messed me up.
He's cleared my thoughts of clutter and brought in new ones.
He's broken my words apart and formed new meanings out of them.
He's spread my legs wide apart and gotten closer to my body than anyone else.
He's shattered my beliefs and opened up new ones.
He's burnt me down to ashes and lit a new fire in me.
He's turned me to paste and cooked me into a well decorated meal.
He's broken my rules and made me form new ones.
He's played the wrong keys and created the right music.

He's the birth giver and a caretaker.
He's a road sign in the middle of a forest.
He's a creeper growing around a broken building.
He's color on a desaturated screen.
He's the heart of a child with a body of a man.
He's the soul of the poor and the luxury of the rich.
He's the image from a magazine and a negative of a graveyard.
He's the god of time and the slave of human nature.

He's a false promise and an opportunity of strong belief.
He's a signature of a principle but a consequence of emotions.
He's hell to the mind and heaven to the heart.

He's a moment, a phase, a journey, an impact.
He is neither the past nor the future.
He's love and lust.
He.

Much love!

You.
Yes you.

I miss you like a fucking idiot! I wake up thinking of you and spend the entire day thinking how my life here would've been had you been right next to me.
I sleep later than I should because I'm used to you cuddling me to sleep.

You're this ridiculous habit in my life where the tiniest of things revolve around you and play an important fucking role in each and every daily routine.

How in the bloody hell do you expect me to just be okay with sharing what I always learnt of as MINE? I'm possessive about you not because I want to restrict your freedom of being with other women but because I need you right next to me. Right here. I absolutely hate the other women in your life not because they get to sleep with you but because they are with you when I want you.

We're almost a month into the distance and it just gets worse by the day. My heart drops each day. It drops realizing that you're not mine anymore. It drops realizing that you probably never were. You were with me only because I was your best option. It drops realizing that till the time you were around, I never even looked at finding options. I never wanted you replaced. My heart fucking drops each day. It drops when you end conversations, when you cut calls, when I don't wake up to you, when we've blamed everything on life and not ourselves.

I'm sorry I gave you reason to look for more women in your life. I'm sorry I made you feel I'm not enough. I'm fucking sorry I made it seem like it was all okay to do so.

But for heavens sake, beyond all the space you need, I'm left on my own. For most bit, my energy has gotten into trying to protect myself and simply picking myself up piece by piece.

I don't call or message because you can't wait to end the conversations.

Its emotionally draining but god dammit! Nothing has ever felt more beautiful than being in love with you. You're still the best fucking thing that has ever happened to my life and there is no way in hell I'm sharing that with anyone.

I will continue to wake up to you and continue to run my day wondering what would've happened had you been right next to me.

And the answer is always the same. Life would've been easier and beautiful.

Much love!

Kalaam

Kalaam ki bani hoon main,
saaye hain is kalaam mein.
Kalaam se poocho jis tasveer ki bani hai jo,
us tasveer ki shikayat hoon main.

Tasveer mein chupe us dard ko padho,
us dard ki likhi saraansh hoon main,
tasveer ko chupa do is duniya mein,
saaye bhi pooche, voh kalaam hoon main.

Akelepan ko mehsus karne ki aavaz hai,
jo na sunaai deti hoon main.
Gunguna ke bhi na bole jaa sake,
us aavaz ki kalaam hoon main.

Sangharsh se door ek gumraah hai jo,
likhta hai kalaam ko,
duniya ko duniya dikha de jo,
us kalaam ki gulaam hoon main.

Dear SIMC-UGans,

Dear SIMC-UGans,
After three years of slander in this college, there are a few things that you'll have to constantly remember for survival.

Trust me, its worth the three year struggle but there are always ways of overcoming it.

1. To maintain a decent attendance average, always try to make it for the first class. Now that you've pushed yourself to college, you'll manage to attend all classes till the end.

2. Travel to nearby areas on long weekends. Go for joy rides, pick up your camera and just explore. You'll be surprised how much that will teach you.

3. You'll fight all other batches trying to prove yours right. In the end you'll realize, your own batch mates are your competition.

4. Friend circles will keep changing. Don't use that against them while you move on. Learn to adapt to totally new environments quickly.

5. Pick your internships wisely, they're your ticket to placements post college. Once you grab your internship opportunities, work your life out and do not worry about the money.

6. Everyone around you isn't against you as much as they are protecting themselves. Don't give problems that much importance.

7. Everyone will one day cheat on you, lie, fake things, walk out on you, demotivate you, come to you only for help or make living difficult. You'll have to decide whom you allow.

8. TNGs are a bad idea. Coping up with its consequences will really burden you down and you'll end up with another TNG.

9. Take time out and speak to each and one of your batchmates and get to know them better before you decide to choose your circle.

10. You know when they ask you not to judge the way Anupam Siddhartha treats you in the first year because he is sort of becomes the friend in the third year?
It's true.

11. Try to be a part of a lot of projects in your three years without jeopardizing your attendance. It will take you places.

12. Do not like your lifestyle and friend circle to just SIMC people. Move forward and make friends outside of college. If they're outside of Viman Nagar, even better. It's therapeutic.

13. Everyone will form a few addictions by the end of three years, don't judge them. Once they leave, everyone sorts themselves out to a large extent.

14. College will put you through some of the most heart wrenching situations. It could be back-to-back or all of them at once. Let it hurt you and change you. You'll surprise yourself once you're past it.

15. People will leave. Please don't let that stop you from coming to college. Avoid dating people from the same college as much as possible. It could get bubblegum under the foot if not done right.

16. People who have left will come back in the end, they will. I promise you. But not the way you'd expect them to, EVER. I promise you that too.

17. This place will teach you how to maneuver your way around, manipulate, get things done and understand a bunch of mind games being played around you. Understand them, but don't apply them on your friends.

18. Multitasking will be the toughest thing you'll face in these three years but also a skill you'll have aced in the meantime.

19. Remind the people around you what they mean to you. Half the communication barriers come in the way because people aren't sure whom to approach.

20. Everyone around you comes with some talent or the other. Learn or read up about it. Pick it up if it interests you.

21. You'll be flooded with scars and unhealed wounds but you'll learn to realize that the worst is yet to come. It's true, but fight it. Everyone around you is equally insecure and doing the same.

22. This place will teach you a lot academically but your real learning so the the transformation in three years. You'd have cried way more than you could've imagined to get to where you reach. Let it punch you in the gut. It's the best thing that could've happened to you.

23. By the end of it all, you should have picked up and mastered one technical skill in your field. The best way to get here is, when depressed, work. When upset, work. When lonely, work. You'll get past most of your miseries and take a nice break by then.

24. People will change and forget to inform you, walk out into a new environment if you're not happy. Have the strength to walk out and bear others walking out on you. Pick yourself up, no matter what!

25.  Strengthen as many friendships before you are done with this place. Your own batch mates and friends who have backstabbed you will be the ones backing you up in the big bad outside world.

26. Remember to acknowledge everyone who means something to you without any returns. It'll be a miracle if you ever get any returns.

27. Your own friends will leave you in the cold and acquaintances will pick you up when you fall. Let go!

28. You always have a choice to not give a fuck, and the consequences are really not as scary as you think.

29. Fall in love. Let it stab you in the gut. You'll learn to pick yourself up, you always do.

30. Vishal Jokhare is your man. Make him your friend, you'll survive miracles as long as he has your back.

31. Check out as many independent artists as you can. Go for NH7, go to high spirits, go to blue frog, go visit all these places and let everyone's art form influence you.

32. Your parents don't have to know everything. Actually nobody does. Be yourself and then decide if it's your closely guarded secret or your loud identity.

33. Do not get too close to the people you're living with. Have their back when they need you, but keep a distance. Saves you the ugliness and dirty politics.

34. Don't let anybody around you feel lonely. You'll light up their lives with your initiatives. At the same time, don't let people take you for a ride and for granted, spend time with yourself and know when to draw the line.

35. Life isn't a breeze, its a sandstorm. Survival of the fittest. Watch your back, there is a huge chance, they'll all leave while you are begging for help. But the strongest of fuckers are those guys who've walked past those sandstorms all by themselves.

36. Have your sources in place. Always know how to extract information. The day you crack this, you'll confidently take steps and be prepared for every comeback.

After everything, if its still too much to survive, let karma sort things out for you. Time will bloody hell be your next best friend in these three years.

Just don't give up. You'll thank your stars in retrospect. :')

Love.

You.

You.
You're gorgeous. You're lanky and adorable. You have a way of being affectionate, I can't feel anywhere else.

You.
You're gone. You're so far, I see you standing right in front of me and can't utter a single word to start conversation.

You.
You've made me realize that I'm sitting in a place knowing you won't come back but hoping you still will.

You.
You're powerful. You're dating again and I'm perfectly okay with it. I secretly feel happy you're there and not where I'd make you stand had I been around.

You.
I have no idea how to reason with you. Neither are you angry at me nor are you even talking.

You.
I'd rather deal with stupid jokes and a broken tooth than a man with genuine intentions and a high sex drive.

You.
You're indifferent. Teach me. Tell me exactly how you look at me. Tell me exactly how you've described me in your friend's presence and my absence.

You.
Just explain to me why I'm not worth the trouble. Just what bit about the things you loved did you start disliking? Reason with me why I shouldn't fight for you.

You.
Make me understand how insignificant I am that walking out with no intention of returning was one of the easiest things that happened to you.

You.
I'm in love. Hold me tight and answer all my questions for me? Slap facts right across my face and tell me I'm not reason enough to get all these answers.

You.
Come back.

Last night's rant!

There he was. Lying, hiding, deceiving and crying. He had his ways, I guess. You know how they say that if he's returned is probably because his new option failed miserably.

People have a way of making you priority and just walking out because of a new excitement in their lives. You're never important to others unless all their other options have ditched them to misery.

Loneliness lets you see through people. You see yourself in people and others you dislike when the only person who matters shows those very same characteristics.

Silence teaches you to listen. Quietly listen what's really happening. How truth can reveal itself in people's weakest moments is what you learn in deepest silence.

Slumber shows you your fears and wishes. You understand how you really look at your version of the truth when you dream. Jealousy, grief, deception, guilt, secret desires, regret are so visibly obvious in your dreams, you lose faith in everything you ever fought for.

These are the only reasons that make people cry. The strongest of men breakdown when such emotions take over.

There he was lying and deceiving. There is something about a woman's instinct which just tells you exactly what's going on without having to know information. Fears exaggerate them to an extent.

In all that's complicated, you can guess what triggered those tears but for the life of God, you'll never guess why he really wept. You cry when your priority leaves and you cry more when your backup leaves you. We love the sympathy we get after we've exhausted our last options.

Tears tear you apart, bring you down and you fall to pits. How do you forgive those who deceive. Do you blindly let people in for how they're treating you now? Do you live in the moment to such an extent that you jeopardize everything else you've believed in?

Did crying ever solve anything other than raise the threshold of acceptance?
Is acceptance the only solution we survive on? No wonder it's a tough world!

People change and you accept.
You accept or you leave!
You're in shatters but he got away with it, just like he did with every other girl, every other girl!