Much love!

You.
Yes you.

I miss you like a fucking idiot! I wake up thinking of you and spend the entire day thinking how my life here would've been had you been right next to me.
I sleep later than I should because I'm used to you cuddling me to sleep.

You're this ridiculous habit in my life where the tiniest of things revolve around you and play an important fucking role in each and every daily routine.

How in the bloody hell do you expect me to just be okay with sharing what I always learnt of as MINE? I'm possessive about you not because I want to restrict your freedom of being with other women but because I need you right next to me. Right here. I absolutely hate the other women in your life not because they get to sleep with you but because they are with you when I want you.

We're almost a month into the distance and it just gets worse by the day. My heart drops each day. It drops realizing that you're not mine anymore. It drops realizing that you probably never were. You were with me only because I was your best option. It drops realizing that till the time you were around, I never even looked at finding options. I never wanted you replaced. My heart fucking drops each day. It drops when you end conversations, when you cut calls, when I don't wake up to you, when we've blamed everything on life and not ourselves.

I'm sorry I gave you reason to look for more women in your life. I'm sorry I made you feel I'm not enough. I'm fucking sorry I made it seem like it was all okay to do so.

But for heavens sake, beyond all the space you need, I'm left on my own. For most bit, my energy has gotten into trying to protect myself and simply picking myself up piece by piece.

I don't call or message because you can't wait to end the conversations.

Its emotionally draining but god dammit! Nothing has ever felt more beautiful than being in love with you. You're still the best fucking thing that has ever happened to my life and there is no way in hell I'm sharing that with anyone.

I will continue to wake up to you and continue to run my day wondering what would've happened had you been right next to me.

And the answer is always the same. Life would've been easier and beautiful.

Much love!