Its a hard life!

August was a difficult month.
It was too much all at once.
A friend's death.
A father being posted at the border.
A mother who can't see an unhappy daughter.
A suspension warning.
Assorted friends distancing themselves from you.
Money issues.

to top it all
AN UGLY BREAK UP!
Moreover, getting dumped.
Sucks cock. You stop complaining as much after a point, the best have gone through the worst of breakups.
I really shouldn't make a big deal.

I have a grandfather who is living a life with his own fears to fight, not being able to understand, not being understood, selflessly working at home at the age of 80, Pension for pocket money, hard of hearing, worshipping god and people's well-being and fearing death.
and all he says is, I'm BORED!

I have a mother, who has lived life on her terms, not just taken care of herself but also brought a father and an annoying daughter up patiently. She has faced through struggles of a higher order and faced 15 years of resilience to get to the little of where she is right now with a very minimal support from my father.
But she managed. With flying colours.
She still wakes up to empty mornings wishing I was around irrespective of the oblivion in my presence she faces. She wakes up wishing somebody was there, to take care of a few things.
She wakes up wishing she was the little penguin who got all the attention and no responsibility.
But she wakes up.

My father has a different side to the story,
He lost his father as a 11 year old. My paternal family faced about 13 years of struggle where the eldest brother gave up the medicine seat so a family could merely survive. Living was really far fetched thinking.
He might have a snoring problem but thats okay. He joined the army. He saw a lot during that period, death, blood, unkept promises, fake promises, ridiculous orders, exceptionally limited salary and broken dreams.
He left the life of a father so he could lead the life of a doctor at war. He left the life of a husband so families in assorted places are taken care of. He left the life of a son to serve a corrupt country. He left the life of a brother to watch himself lead a living with an incremented pay cheque but distant from emotions.
He left a lot so others around him could be happy. He's a selfless man. He lives by himself because his daughter wants to live the cool life in a cool environment right near college. He lives by himself because his wife wants to chase her dreams.
Heck! he will sleep in the living room to ensure that his daughter gets the bed to herself and a comfortable sleep. He tries his best to be around. He will give you space even when he needs the attention.
He.will.not.complain.
His miseries are beyond explanation and not a sign of giving up.

I say things like 'I don't want to travel 16kms - one way to a lonely house' to realize a professor does that for a living. Neither does she have company nor does she have a fridge. She is the most criticized person i've come across but she doesn't give up. HOW?

I'm surrounded by people who've gone through the roughest of phases and have grown numb towards it and I'm cribbing about how difficult my life is because I got DUMPED? or experienced a horrible month?
Despite all the luxuries being taken care off.

Where does one draw the line and pull in all the motivation to move on?
How does one give a fuck and still go ahead with life?
What does one do when you can't differentiate between determination and desperation?

and really..
WHY DOES ONE SURVIVE?
Its a hard life!
Who decides the legitamacy of complaints?

maybe one day, things will fall into place in a hope that heaven is on earth and hell is my best friend.
Harmony will happen and we will all be ONE!
Comfort will come one day.

It should.
That is why the strength to fight.
The strength to push yourself ahead.
To let go and just swim in the waters.
To watch people disguise themselves as saints.
To watch it become a joke.
To give it meaning but take away its value.
To ride!